v 1/19/13

diary THE HORDE IS BROKEN

As of late, Garrosh Hellscream's loyalists have been rabid in their attempts to oppress those who oppose him. They have taken up headquarters in the Hall of the Brave, among them the Kor'kron and the Garrosh'kar Skullcleavers- there is a guard posted at the entrance at every hour of the day.

They would choose a place so near to the noisiest tavern in Orgrimmar.

An orcish war hero made a few drunken comments against Garrosh- drew quite a crowd, though they all scattered when the Kor'kron executed the orc and proceeded to turn on the people. To my understanding, at least one orc walked away sans a hand.

Three days or so later, the Garrosh'kar combed through the Valley of Honor and targeted individuals, questioning their loyalties. Two people escaped via smoke bomb.

I'd say it was another three days until an orc monk walked up to the Hall of the Brave and bellowed, "Garrosh must answer to the people of the Horde!" He drew quite the audience when he proceeded to be faced by five of the Garrosh'kar. Two other orcs I presume were members of the Ghostwolf Clan stepped in to help him- two of the three, including the monk, escaped. The other was (perhaps accidentally?) left behind, defeated and flayed as punishment.

If that is not bad enough, there is a large group of people who are preparing to riot and I feel so helpless in the fact that I cannot do anything to prevent them from doing so. I believe it to be a death sentence- the loyalists have proven already that they are more than willing to kill to defend their 'Warchief.' The best I can do is offer my services in arranging false identities and harboring surviving fugitives, and presenting ideas to the rioters' meetings when they convene.

It frustrates me to no end.

There are good people that will die, but they are determined and willing to die to achieve this goal. They would rather perish and try to change the Horde than continue to live in it as slaves. It's admirable, and it will very likely serve a purpose in steering our brothers and sisters to action. I just wish there was a less costly way to go about it.

When I first relayed news of the first execution to Scrag, he was furious, especially when I told him it would be best to wait rather than line ourselves up for slaughter. He asked me why, told me that it was unlike me to sit pretty.

He's right. It is unlike me and I fucking hate it. I hate feeling so weak- it reminds me of Mirabella and all my failures regarding my inability to defend the people I love.

I wish I could spare these people from their pain and suffering. From their deaths as nameless martyrs.

I'm sorry that I cannot do more to help you. I have too much to lose by doing so, but know that I support you. You are heroes and you possess a courage and confidence even I lack.

x A MOTHER'S LOVE

The wail of a baby filled the air, and its black-haired mother slumped back into her bed. Sweat beaded her brow, and her blue eyes were dull. She looked weak, and ill.

"Stay with me, Saria," her golden-haired husband pleaded, the agony evident in his voice.

"I'm so sorry," she gasped, writhing as another wave of pain washed over her. She was feverish. "I-is it a girl?"

"Yes." Though she knew he had been wanting a son, the woman had also known that she would give him a daughter- call it a mother's intuition.

The doctor tending the couple had swaddled the newborn in a red blanket embroidered with gold. He carefully placed her in her mother's arms, the infant's cries calming considerably.

"Seilu," she said after a moment. She smiled. "My beautiful little girl."

There were tears in her eyes as she brushed a tuft of white-blonde hair over her daughter's forehead. "I'm sorry, little Seilu, that I cannot be there for you through the heartbreak the future holds for you," she murmured, her voice fading as her strength did. "Know that I'll always love you, and that I'll always be in your heart."

Looking up at her solemn husband, she nodded; he turned his face away, though tears were fresh on his cheeks. "I have failed you," he choked out. While many of his actions over the years had seemed heartless, the head of the house of Sunhollow loved his wife without question. The loss of her would be felt by everyone who knew the stoic warrior.

"No, my beloved. You have given me everything I ever wanted. I-" Saria was interrupted by a fit of coughing. The man's eyes widened when the hand she'd covered her mouth with came away bloody. "I love you."

Those were the dying words of the woman with the voice of a songbird. The doctor carefully extracted a screaming Seilu from her mother's arms, even as her father fell to his knees and sobbed. He shouted and cursed, pleading his wife to come back in broken whispers.

He would find a surrogate for his daughter. He would raise her and love her, but the pain of his first wife's death would stay with him forever and his blonde-haired daughter would always remind him, with her pouty lips, determined gaze and slightly-upturned nose of the beautiful woman he'd loved with all his heart and who had taken his heart with her to the grave.

v 11/20/12

• The blood-binding ceremony between Seilu and Xethanis has been performed and the pair are now permanently connected, from this life to the next and through whatever eternity will be laid before them. They can now sense where the other is at any given time, and know if the other is hurt or in danger as well as (more vaguely) each other's emotions. 
• Mirabella, a Forsaken seamstress and shadow priest as well as one of Seilu's close friends died when the warlock who had captured her could no longer use her and destroyed her as a result. Seilu's distraught, angry and blames herself for not trying to find and save Mira.
• Hannie, Ferasa and Taosing, three of Seilu's other friends, were all injured violently and Seilu was unable to protect them. She harbors immense guilt for this as well.
• On a trip to Ian's statue/corpse, Seilu ran into a twisted Drakkari death knight. She smarted off due to her short temper and wound up getting her ass kicked and almost raped, if not for the intervention of Xethanis's warlock grandfather. Any brownie points he had were thrown out the window when he called Seilu weak, useless, helpless and pathetic after bargaining with Zul'Burdak, the troll. Not only did he convince Burdak to let Seilu go by forging an alliance (to some degree) with him, but he laid a curse on her before he left.
• Because of Seilu's recent inability to protect herself or her friends, she's retreating to Northrend for a while to both mourn and think. After she's mentally recovered enough, she'll start sharpening and honing her skills in combat. Until then, she's all but resigned herself to being a mute, speaking only to Xeth and even then, laconically so.

v 10/19/12 (NSFW)

Not really an update, but a friend/guildie drew a pinup of Seilu for me and I'm so happy ermagerd <333 Her eyes aren't supposed to be green, but idc. I love it! c:


Check out her tumblr here: http://fitzefitcher.tumblr.com/

 

diary GUILT

I'm so sorry.

I thought you would be safe with everyone else while I stepped away for a few minutes to speak with Hannie- you were safe, but I should have taken into consideration that you didn't know anybody there. I made a mistake and I'm so very sorry.

I should have been there for you when you collapsed, should've tried to help you when the plague tried to overtake your body. It almost won. I'll never tell him, but I owe your grandfather a lot more than a thank you. He saved you- we thought he was making your sickness worse, but in reality his actions were the only thing that kept you alive.

I would never have forgiven myself had you died that night- that I wasn't at least there by your side if the nether had claimed you. I'm sorry I'm such a terrible life-mate, and the old man was right- I don't deserve you, but believe me when I say I'm so grateful that it was me you chose. You make me happy. You make my heart beat like it never has before, and you make me feel nervous and give me butterflies; I haven't felt this giddy in centuries.

Thank you.

You're always there for me, regardless of how shitty a mate I can be. You know when I need to be held and hold me when I do. I feel safe sleeping beside you, and your kisses warm my cheeks and my soul. I love the way you look at me, and I love that I can put a smile on your face when nobody else can. I want you to be happy, and you have no idea how much it means to me that I'm the reason when you are.

Despite all of this, I wasn't there when you needed me.

On top of that, I'm the reason you nearly died. I should have listened when you said it wasn't wise to fuck with a warlock's curses and spells, but instead I blundered along blindly in my attempt to 'cure' you.

I don't know how you forgave me. Your love is no less valuable to me than mine is to you, but how can you forgive me for something like this?

... Do I sound ungrateful?

I'm not. Dalah'surfal, you are my heart, my soul mate and my world. I made no promise to you that I wouldn't keep. I will still stand by your side for whatever eternity we receive unless you will me to do otherwise, and when that eternity ends we will embrace death together.

It means everything to me that you continue to return my feelings despite my stupidity and pigheadedness.

I wish I could forgive myself as readily.

I love you.

v 9/28/12

• Xethanis has become Seilu's life-mate. As a result, she has approached Scrag, the guild master, and adamantly declared that Xeth is now under the protection of the guild and threatened to leave if this wasn't permitted. Scrag yielded on this, but because Xeth refused to give his name, he does not have a voice within the guild. Seilu has to speak for him if he wants an opinion, but neither of them have a problem with this arrangement.

• Seilu has decided that after all these years of wielding magic to only the most basic degree that she will begin training in multiple aspects of it. A Pandaren monk named Golek will teach her how to better wield her chi, while Kungen, the orc shaman and head mystic of the guild will try to mentor her in mastering elemental magic- or, at least, in mastering the element that chooses her.

• Seilu's eyes flared particularly brightly when she tried using the arcane to assist an acquaintance of hers. The contact lenses her best friend and admiral, Hannie Sixkiller, made were broken because of it. Hannie is now working on a new set of contacts that can change into any color with multiple settings (blind, all black, slitted etc.).